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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hearts Day

I remember once...on the 13th of February. I run around, busily trying to perfect romantic stunts for tomorrow. Crazy. Its the 14th today. Yup. Lonely.

Valentine's Day ain't no big deal at all. But I am just not used to being alone...this definitely is a first.

Went to some bar with a couple of friends. I was hoping to maybe find a single girl who might be interested. I mean, c'mon, its V-Day! Yes, someone did approach me. But sick as life can get, it was a dude. Yup, life plays not just any jokes but cruel ones. So I didn't stay any longer. Here I am tying to entertain myself.

How does one find the fuel to go on in trying to pursue someone he/she likes? I am kind of running on empty tank here. I see a lot of beautiful ladies around but I just don't have the energy to go for it. Could it be THIS strong, the effects of my previous relationship? Is this my bad karma?

Still, I like it this way. We writers love to think we are all alone. We love to hurt a lot. We love to be broke. We love to think that nobody likes us. We're crazy. That's exactly why life goes crazy on us...I think.


We question ourselves...why why why. Here's a secret I learned. There is really no answer. It's called 'the circle of life'. We ask, then we go around till we face the back of our question, then we go at it again. We stupid.

Happy Valentine's Day peeps!:>

9 comments:

AphroditeShari said...

yes its very possible that lack of energy is from ur prev relationship.. but u'll have the energy to pursue another when ur ready.. to rush it.. dont push.. and by all means.. dont let anyone convince u ur ready..

*sigh* this is ur first v- day alone huh? this is my 3rd... (not alone.. but 3rd in a row.. messed up vday..)
I'm beginning to really hate this day... its a constant remembrance of bad things.. and yet i still somehow manage to get myself to wake up on valentines day.. be enthusiastic.. happy and cheerful.. and wish everyone a happy valentines.. becoz i support love..

blah.. i just sat here and typed a whole load of (doodoo) only to delete it all.. coz i really didnt feel like havin all that i wrote out for the public eye...

anywho..
happy valentines day to u too...

DeVille said...

hey it's almost a year...you think its still because of the past relationship? i mean i am a dude! it should be easier for me to move on. plus i never really loved her anyway.

so u've never been alone on a v-day?

sometimes that happens to me...i waste time typing and end up not posting.

well i hope we have a happy v-day next year...:>

AphroditeShari said...

yes i think it is becoz of the last relationship.. just coz ur dude doesnt mean that it shud be easier.. somthin obviously was diff in the last one.. and ur a diff person now becoz of it.. i read one time that it is infact harder for a guy to move on.. well not move on.. but just to get the energy up and out for a new chase. its not that u loved her.. or didnt love her.. its that ur not ready to put in effort for another chase.. another roll at the game.. when u lost what efforts and such in the last one..
i duno.. mayb I'm all wrong.. its just a theory..

this is my first vday "alone"... in a LONG time.. and i find that since I've gotten older.. its harder to face this day than it used to be...

i may be over reacting.. but i am really finding it hard to pull myself out of this.. *down feeling* that i've gotten since valentines.. it really sux.. and i somehow feel broken.. each time i feel pain.. i remember how u said how we artists live for it.. and its what charges and fuels our creativity..

dear god.. I'm doin a lot of talking.. i shud shuttup now..

here's to wishful thinking that we have a better vday next year!

DeVille said...

amazing...my cousin just said the same thing...so i guess your both right.:>
well we both suffer from the same pains i guess...u are not alone after all.:> cheer up.
no wishful thinking. next year you are going to be my valentine.:> and i am telling you in advance, it's gonna be great.:>

AphroditeShari said...

lol.. its cool ur cousing said the same... *yay for being right* lol..
its nice to not be alone in this.. i mean.. i know I'm not alone.. but its nice to KNOW the ppl who are in it with me.. lol. make sense?

aww.. thats sweet of u... beware tho.. i'll hold u to it :P

DeVille said...

its a great idea. i mean think about it. we got rid of our little problem of being 'alone' on valentines. we get to expect something if ever there is no one there. are you in on that?:>

AphroditeShari said...

sure I'm up for it :) its always good to have a backup plan lol.. but its gona be kinda hard with u on the other side of the world :P

DeVille said...

you never know what could happen...:>

AphroditeShari said...

lool.. indeed.. nobody ever knows.. :)